june gloom

So, I am settling into my new home quite nicely.
But I have been a bit down about a few things in my life and trying to push through it.
I love my new place, have amazing friends & family, great job and all that! I am just feeling a bit blue....this too shall pass...I have too much to be thankful for to be down for too long.

Just am waiting to be further along in my journey and also be settled into my new home.
That's all...


a bit about me...and why ?

So, the other day someone asked me why this blog had the name it did.

My intention on this blog was to chronicle my journey to becoming the person I want to be in all aspects of my life; health, weight, personal, financial....all of it.

It is a long journey and many small steps will eventually get me to where I want to be, thus the name!

I turned 40 last year and my intention was to go into this decade in a healthier manner.

To do this I have changed my diet by trying to eliminate gluten (though I do occasionally cheat)  limit my dairy & meat intake, while eating more healthy (less processed) food. Over the course of the past year I have lost 30 pounds. Looking to lose another 70 or so. It really scares me to say that I had a total of 100 pounds to lose, but I look at how over the last 15 years I gained weight slowly and never pushed myself hard enough to do something about it. Funny how it takes some minor thing sometimes to hit a breaking point. Mine was seeing how hard it was on other older people in my life who carried extra weight. I decided I didn't want to be them in 10 or 20 years.

I passed weights that I swore I never would and am happy to be passing them on the downward path.

In an effort to challenge myself I signed up for a 5K mud run on my birthday.

Now, I am working on "training" for this and hoping to be down another 20+ pounds at least by then.

In other aspects i moved into a new home which is cheaper than my previous thus enabling me to be able to pay off bills faster and build my saving back up.

On the personal front I am choosing to let go off the non-supportive people in my life and welcome new possibilities  ; )



settling in...

So, I have been in my new place for just about 3 weeks and finally feeling like I am getting settled. The front portion of my home looks amazing, just avoid the 2 bedrooms and it looks as if I have been here for years! Cozy and organized, just a perfect spot.

In so many ways this new place is an upgrade, off the street, upstairs, 2 bedrooms, a bigger kitchen....oh I could go on & on! Can you tell I am happy? I did enjoy my last place, it had neat features and the best bathtub ever! The kitchen though was tiny with an apartment size fridge & oven which made my love of cooking & baking a dream for my time there.

Went shopping at Trader Joe's and stocked up on all kinds of delish food and have already made more meals here in the past month than I did in the past 3 at the old spot.

Heavenly!

Now, off to do a bit of baking before work.



So, as part of my new "me" I am working my way through a "to do list"

not a bucket list, just an encouragement for me to try some of the things I see out in the world that look fun or challenging....and might not otherwise attempt.

On the top of this list is doing a mud run or obstacle race.

I have seen other friends do them and they look like a blast!

I found one in Southern CA that fell on my actual birthday and put it out to my FB friends to see who would step up with me.

My bestie said it sounded fun and immediately signed both of us up for it.

Now, I am in the process of training myself for it.

The length of the race is a mere 5K (3.37 miles)

however the fact that you do it thru mud adds weight to your clothing and makes it more of a challenge.

They recommend that you wear as little clothing as you feel comfy in and should be form fitting.

Thus my need to kick start my diet and workout regimen once more.

I did hit my first goal (30 pounds)

...go me. Now, I am focusing on my next goal of 35. I broke my goals down into 3 steps...a total of 100 pounds and I will do a big ole happy dance when I hit that "ideal" number!

when is it too much?

So, I tend to over think and over plan in most aspects of my life.

Trying to learn to just let it all flow, but there is a bit too much of the Virgo/Libra

 aspect in me...I just like the order, organization & such.

Currently I am in the process of moving from a large one bedroom to a small 2 bedroom.

This means I have roughly the same amount of square footage, but divided into smaller spaces. I am measuring all my furniture trying to see what will fit where & just how to make this work. A friend saw my lists of measurements & laughed. So, how to you plan your new spaces people? Do you just place items and move them until you are happy or do you "plan it out" like me and measure & do a diagram?

I will say that even with doing the planning I often change things around once I am in and living with my items...but I like to have some idea of what is going to work in the space. For one thing I would rather get rid of any furniture that is not going to fit so it doesn't have to be moved twice!

I am excited for the new space to nest into. My main reason for moving is price, it is cheaper than my current home and closer to my job in addition (woot woot)

My new landlord is putting in new flooring in the kitchen and bathroom which is so lovely, plus there is hardwood floors in both bedrooms & the living space. Windows on all 4 sides for fabulous cross breeze which is nice as it is an upstairs apt which can be hot as heck in the summer!

Bonus in getting a Pottery Barn black iron chandelier in my new living space along with a new stove in the kitchen. I am hating the packing and dreading the upstairs to upstairs move,but I am ready for this new chapter!

it's my life...so why do I care what YOU think?

I just finished reading an interesting book,

the amazing adventures of dietgirl

by Shauna Reid

www.dietgirl.org

It is written by an Australian woman who made a choice to lose weight and started blogging about it.

At her heaviest she was 351 pounds and the book covers 7 years, 175 pounds and a lifetime of personal body issue struggles.

I read this at a point in my own personal journey that really made me smile and also appreciate her efforts. While my starting point was a pit stop on her journey it is still quite similar to my journey that I am on.

I have never put a number out there.

Part of it is shame, I hate the large number (to me, maybe not to others) that was my highest weight.

Mostly it is that this is for the most part a personal journey.

I am the one that is going through this, others may help through words and support, but the work comes down to me in the end.

I am now choosing to look at the positive things I have achieved so far.

I have lost 31 pounds in the past year, dropping down 2 sizes.

More importantly though I have become a person who looks upon this as a health issue rather than looking just at numbers. It is not just about the weight, the inches, the size...it is about being able to take a hike and not being out of breath.

It is about looking forward to Zumba or BodyCombat.

 Or craving fruit rather than a donut.

It is funny how each time we can gain weight we say this is the highest number I will ever see.

This one is my breaking point and then we go past it...

...and then we do.

I have a magnet on my fridge that says

"My goal weight is what my fat weight used to be"

I used to laugh at that, but my current weight is what I used to call my fat weight a couple years ago!

This is the first time I am putting this in writing for others to see, but that 31 pounds I have lost is only about 25% of what I would like to lose. If I were to try and get down to my ultimate goal I would need to lose a total of 120 pounds.

That is a whole person and it sounds so scary to say I have that much to lose.

I personally would be happy to be within a 20 pound range of my goal, but I still set a low number to try and reach.

I am trying to let go of thinking about what others think, but it is not easy in this society in which we all judge each other so easily.

I am blessed with some very supportive friends and family.

They love me no matter how I look, but they are all telling me that can see me changing into a better me through this.

As one of my sweet friends told me lately that I am gorgeous inside & out.

I liked the compliment, come on who doesn't like those?
I am trying hard to take those lovely words I get from those around me and take them as they are given, in the spirit of love & support.

Now, getting back to the book, one of my favorite things is how she was talking about working out and being the largest in the room.

I have recently gotten a renewed enthusiasm for my gym after a break of a couple months.

This week I took 2 BodyFlow classes, which is a mix of yoga, pilates & tai chi.

Sounds easy right?

Um, not so much.

You see when you are carrying extra weight it makes it harder to do some of those yoga poses.

There is ways to adapt them to be easier which I do and work towards being able to do them in the manner which the teacher & rest of the class do. I look on it as I am there and trying.

I try not to get wrapped up in being the big girl in the room, but not going to lie, it can be tough.
I am sure I am thinking about it much more than any of them are.

I love my yoga, it gives me peace and a sense of strength.

I do look at how easy it comes to some of the others within the class and hate that I am working so much harder to do the same moves.

then I stop and say to myself....girl you are HERE, you are TRYING!

GIVE YOURSELF SOME CREDIT ALREADY!
So, here is my positive words to myself for today...
YOU CAN DO IT!
NOW, GET OFF THE COUCH AND GO TO THE GYM!!!!

Footnote,

this picture is from a hike last month and right when my friend went to take the pic I talked...thus it turning out like this. Honestly it makes me laugh as I look almost disgusted with it all which is far from what I was feeling. I am trying to include some pictures along my journey so we can all see how far I am going...so above is now...and below is from June of 2009. Can you see that 30 pounds that are gone? I sure can!

 

ahhh

Had a fabulous mini vacay down south seeing my friends & family!

Got quality time with my bestie, say some old friends and ate all kinds of treats not in my usual diet these days!

Came back refreshed and ready to tackle my move.

I sometimes think these small local moves are worse as you can spread it out over a bit of time with lots of small trips. On the plus side my friend AKS is coming from out of town to help me organize and move my small stuff before the boys do my big furniture pieces on the weekend.

Now to sit back and enjoy my only day off for the week.